It's a new year and you know what that means. Wives everywhere are making New Year's resolutions for their spouses. The Voice is no exception. While I (Mrs. Voice) may create the list, The Voice may choose not to actually read the list. So it goes.
He may be almost perfect (yeah, right), but The Voice does have a few areas where he can accept some constructive feedback in 2010.
Grilling & Staring
Ah, a man and his grill. Is there anything more husbandly or primal? See if you can find the problem. Man starts grill. Man wanders off admiring his lawn. Wife eventually asks Man to put meat onto the grill which Man does. Man walks length of deck gazing at his lawn, the birds and his neighbor's new riding lawn mower. Wife asks husband if meat has been flipped. Man frantically flips meat which is charred on one side and raw on the other. Wife takes over grilling.
2010 Resolution: Focus on the task at hand, even while on the deck.
Enjoying Couple Time
What couple doesn't enjoy a date night to catch dinner and a movie - or a nice meal at home followed by a flick? I know people who have seen almost every major theatrical release in the past several years. The Voice and I have seen maybe five movies in all our years togeth
er (that doesn't count the 200 times he's watched Roadhouse on TNT).
Here's how the event unfolds at our house: (1) movie begins, (2) opening credits roll, (3) The Voice falls asleep, (4) Mrs. Voice watches the rest of the movie.
We have a hard time even agreeing on a movie since his requirements include car chases and things blowing up. No romantic comedies, chick flicks or, God forbid, emotional endings.
This leaves us watching the NBA playoffs and reruns of Animal House.
2010 Resolution: Throw back some caffeine and focus on the task at hand.
No, You Take the Last Piece
This is probably his most endearing yet frustrating habit. He WILL NOT eat the last of anything. What could be wrong with this, you ask? How thoughtful of him to not be all piggish and inconsiderate. I agree with you up to a certain point.
• Leaving a box of graham crackers with 1/8 of a cracker
• 2 ml of milk in the one-gallon jug
• 10 molecules of brownie in the pan
• One elbow macaroni in the pot
There have been multiple occasions where I had a hankering for nothing more than a graham cracker/glass of milk/brownie/bowl of macaroni only to find the scarcest of crumbs. I don't even know how to go about suggesting a change here. I just pray to the resolution gods for guidance.
2010 Resolution: Go ahead, finish that thing and please focus on the task at hand.
I hope my, er, The Voice's resolutions help you with your own goals for 2010. Some may say that New Year's resolutions were made to be broken. I say have someone else write your resolutions and help/nag you for 365 days. What better way to stay on track?
Note: Today's blog was contributed by Mrs. Voice, Linda Lepay.